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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28622091">Crystalline</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/peblezQ/pseuds/peblezQ'>peblezQ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hamilton Week - Lams Birthday Bash [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>18th Century CE RPF, American Revolution RPF, Hamilton - Miranda, Historical RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Era, Depression, Drunkenness, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealousy, Lams - Freeform, Lams Birthday Bash, M/M, Prompt Fic, Secret Relationship, Short One Shot, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:21:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28622091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/peblezQ/pseuds/peblezQ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Unhealthy coping mechanisms lead to bad decisions. </p><p>Prompt #10 - Drunk/Alcohol</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hamilton Week - Lams Birthday Bash [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2086494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Lams Birthday Bash</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Crystalline</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was originally gonna write something else for this prompt but I was so tired today so I took out a deleted section of my last one shot and posted it here so I don't lose the posting streak for the challenge.</p><p>I will probably still write the original fic I was gonna write for this prompt later on since I liked the idea.</p><p>Enjoy this really sad short prequel that takes place a week before the last fic I posted "A Dwindling Flame."</p><p>TRIGGER WARNING<br/>Laurens is drunk and depressed and suicidal in this fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>With hair like golden fire in the scorching sun, matching the blood of the men surrounding them in battle. On duller days the hair resembles whiskey, shining like amber.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whiskey numbs his blood and his head feels as if it be spinning. He longs to be upon the battlefield again; to see the fiery locks of the lion of a man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he drinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The crystalline cup shimmers in the low candlelight. The open letter sitting on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The parchment smells of sweetness and perfume; he knows he can smell </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> on it even though he knows it to be a strange claim to make. She would not be with </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> as he wrote it since he still is in the army.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drinks again. Raise a glass to freedom, something he will never see again. He drowns in the drink, his sorrows numbing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fears feeling but longs for it. Longs for his touch, his lips igniting his skin aflame. Love was once a myth to a man like him, poisoned with a darkness that would have him hanged. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why not drink instead?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He stumbles and the cup shatters into fragments, reflecting the candlelight and memories. The moment they met, how his heart flipped at the sight of his handsome physique. When they first kissed inside their shared tent, drinking each other in desperately. And the last he saw of him, near a year prior, now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kneels and picks up a shard, staring into it with a clouded mind. If he releases the numbing blood, perhaps it will all be easier; and this fragment is the key.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John!" Annie snaps him from his trance, his eyes blinking owlishly at the sight of his fist crushing the shard in his hand. She pulls it away and wraps his hand with her rag, looking into his eyes with glossy ones of her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laurens falls onto his behind, staring at the velvety </span>
  <em>
    <span>red</span>
  </em>
  <span> liquid oozing from his palm; a reminder of blazing </span>
  <em>
    <span>red</span>
  </em>
  <span> hair belonging to the man who had announced that he is to be wed next month, but that he will visit in a week from now to see his dearest, Jack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so he drinks.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one was very short and I am so tired, fam.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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